Is this the worst gun control op-ed ever?

Advocates of gun control say silly things about guns and the history of the 2nd Amendment all the time. We should be used to this constant barrage of sometimes well intentioned, if grossly ignorant, rhetoric by now. However, Professor Greg Hampikian’s recent attempt at satire in the New York Times goes beyond what we’ve come to expect from gun control pushers. Well, it looks like satire to me at least.

Seriously, take a moment and read the whole thing (or as much of it as you can stand) and then come back. The last part of that instruction is the most important. Okay, done? Congratulations, you’ve now spent more time on the subject of Senate Bill No. 1254 than Mr. Hampikian has. There can be no question to anyone that he failed to read the bill he’s so unabashedly afraid of. For those of you who didn’t have the patience to sit through another dull and laborious reading from some arrogant uninformed academic, I shall now break it down for you. The problem starts with the headline: “When May I Shoot a Student?” If this isn’t satire, then the answer automatically becomes, “Never, because if you’re asking this question you’re not mentally fit to own a gun.”

I am a biology professor, not a lawyer, and I had never considered bringing a gun to work until now. But since many of my students are likely to be armed, I thought it would be a good idea to even the playing field.

Remember, this is a college professor, so we shouldn’t expect logic or any sense of scale when it comes to things like law abiding American citizens being allowed to bring their guns with them after qualifying for concealed weapon permits. Ahem, so it shouldn’t surprise anyone that right off the bat Mr. Hampikian is spouting nonsense. The population of Idaho is approximately 1.5 million and there are approximately 76,000 concealed carry permit holders in the state. All holders of such permits in the state of Idaho are over the age of 21. Less than five percent of the total population of Idaho is permitted to legally carry a gun that is concealed, so the idea of “many” of Mr. Hampikian’s students suddenly coming to class with concealed weapons is laughable and displays his utter lack of knowledge of the issue and the readily available facts. This is a small point to quibble with, obviously, but it is representative of the rest of the piece.

I have had encounters with disgruntled students over the years, some of whom seemed quite upset, but I always assumed that when they reached into their backpacks they were going for a pencil. Since I carry a pen to lecture, I did not feel outgunned; and because there are no working sharpeners in the lecture hall, the most they could get off is a single point. But now that we’ll all be packing heat, I would like legal instruction in the rules of classroom engagement.

At present, the harshest penalty available here at Boise State is expulsion, used only for the most heinous crimes, like cheating on Scantron exams. But now that lethal force is an option, I need to know which infractions may be treated as de facto capital crimes.

I assume that if a student shoots first, I am allowed to empty my clip; but given the velocity of firearms, and my aging reflexes, I’d like to be proactive. For example, if I am working out a long equation on the board and several students try to correct me using their laser sights, am I allowed to fire a warning shot?

Most people, not just gunowners, must be wondering what Mr. Hampikian is talking about here. There’s mention of feelings, pencils and upset students and then an altogether ridiculous premise that non-threatening situations be treated with lethal force. Of course, the same man who is comparing the lawful use of a gun for self defense to classroom discipline also just made mention of “emptying” his “clip.” You can empty a cup of water, but you can’t empty a ‘water’ just like you can’t empty a clip. It’s always a fun exercise correcting clueless gun-grabbers, everyone should try it.

Some of my colleagues are concerned that you are encouraging firearms within a densely packed concentration of young people who are away from home for the first time, and are coincidentally the age associated with alcohol and drug experimentation, and the commission of felonies.

This, of course, is how Mr. Hampikian actually feels. Like most gun control advocates he is deathly afraid of the people he encounters on a daily basis. In his world, 21-year-olds are just children with expanded rights. You can almost guess how he feels about 26-year-olds staying on their parents’ health insurance plans by the tone of the article, but let’s not get bogged down in hypotheticals. Mr. Hampikian’s delusional examples are quite enough for today. America is not the “Wild West…” in fact, the “Wild West” was not the “Wild West.”

It boils down, once more, to the idea that the regular law-abiding citizen is at fault for gun crime in America. If anything, law-abiding gunowners and concealed carriers are responsible for the downward trend in violence across the board. The gun phobia rampant among so many in the left prevents them from forming comprehensible sentences, much less logical arguments. Mr. Hampikian’s embarrassing op-ed is just another example of the willfully ignorant war on gun ownership and self defense.

To date there has never been a mass shooter with a concealed carry permit, nor would any criminal willing to murder innocent people care much for campus regulations. It would be much better for America if leftist academics like Mr. Hampikian were made to be a little uncomfortable. Since they are so unwilling to do something about problem students they suspect of violent intentions, their feelings on the lawful exercise of constitutional rights are pointless to consider. I sincerely hope Mr. Hampikian never has to live through a mass-shooting and statistically it is unlikely that he ever will, but as long as even a few students in his class are allowed to discretely carry guns with them into the classroom, shooters may be less likely to perpetrate their evil.

Finally, I just wanted to post the visual representation of Mr. Hampikian’s “satire” in video form. Please enjoy Senator Kevin de Leon’s enlightening gun class.

 

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Robert Bertrand
Robert Bertrand is the host of Dead Wrong Radio which airs Saturdays at 8PM Eastern on the We Built That Network.

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